As a dedicated psychology student, I know that lying and blaming are integral stages in a child’s developmental journey. These behaviours signify their exploration of communication, emotional coping mechanisms, and the assertion of independence. However, as a parent, I often ponder the origin of these skills in my son. Did he acquire them from observing us, his parents?

Acknowledging our imperfections is crucial. I’ve caught myself resorting to lies, occasionally to protect someone’s feelings or sidestep conflicts. Similarly, blaming others sometimes becomes an involuntary response when feeling ashamed or attempting to evade responsibility. These coping mechanisms, though ingrained, aren’t conducive to healthy problem-solving.

Likewise, my husband, like any human, isn’t faultless either. He, too, has resorted to lies and shifting blame, whether to impress or escape commitments and responsibilities. It’s a realization that dishonesty and shifting blame can be tempting shortcuts in our interactions.

Observing our son exhibiting similar behaviours prompts self-reflection. Is he emulating our conduct, mirroring our words, or echoing our justifications? Or is this a natural phase, exploring self-expression, testing boundaries, and grappling with consequences to shape his morals?

The truth remains elusive. How much of his behaviour stems from our influence versus his intrinsic nature? It’s a conundrum that might never unravel fully. Yet, one thing is sure: our profound desire for our son to grow into a virtuous individual.

Our paramount role as parents is to model integrity. It’s not merely instructing but showcasing the traits of honesty, respect, responsibility, and compassion. It’s about introspection, owning mistakes, and offering genuine apologies. We aim to instil in him virtues we aspire to embody ourselves.

I’m dedicated to fostering self-awareness, minimizing my tendency to lie or shift blame, and striving to exhibit honesty, respect, and responsibility. I hope to guide my son through my actions and mould him into a better version of himself.

However, uncertainties linger. The question persists: Did he learn these behaviours from us?

If you’re interested in delving deeper into the psychology of lying and blaming and seeking guidance on handling these behaviours in yourself or your child, consider exploring the following insightful books:

• “The Psychology of Money” by Morgan Housel: A bestseller unravelling emotions, biases, and expectations in financial decisions, aiding in fostering a healthy money mindset for you and your child.
• “Power of Your Subconscious Mind” by Dr Joseph Murphy: This transformative book guides individuals on harnessing the subconscious mind’s potential, nurturing positive affirmations, confidence, and self-esteem, which is beneficial for adults and children.
• “The Psychology Book” by DK: A comprehensive guide to the history and concepts of psychology, covering various topics from personality to mental health, offering a fascinating insight into the human mind for both you and your child.

While these book recommendations aren’t sponsored, they’re highly regarded resources. I hope they assist you on your journey of understanding and growth.

For personalized support in mental wellness, parenting guidance, or skill development, feel free to contact me at namita@educateable.in. I offer tailored counselling, parenting advice, and writing coaching, assisting you in navigating the complexities of parenthood while striving for personal fulfilment.