When observing a children’s classroom, one particular girl, let’s call her Sarah, caught my attention. While the other children played together, Sarah sat quietly at the art table, carefully arranging her crayons in a neat row before beginning her drawing. She seemed utterly absorbed in her task, unaffected by the noise and movement around her. Her teacher described her as “a joy to have in class” because she was quiet and followed instructions perfectly. But as I watched her closely, I noticed something deeper. Sarah didn’t engage much with her peers, preferring her company and structured activities.
As someone who works with children and understands neurodiversity, I recognized that her behaviours might be signalling something beyond shyness or introversion. This is a common scenario for many girls with autism—their struggles often remain hidden behind their ability to adapt and blend in.
Autism in Girls: Why It’s Often Overlooked
Girls with autism often go unnoticed because their behaviours don’t fit the typical “boy” model of autism. Unlike boys, who might exhibit more apparent signs like hyperactivity or difficulty with eye contact, girls are often quiet, compliant, and socially “acceptable.” Their struggles lie beneath the surface, hidden in plain sight.
Girls are also more likely to mask their difficulties, mimicking social cues and behaviours to fit in. They may be the “perfect student” in school while quietly battling sensory overload, anxiety, or feelings of loneliness.
Subtle Signs of Autism in Girls
Here are some signs that often go unnoticed:
- Intense Interests
Girls with autism may develop deep, passionate interests in specific topics, such as animals, art, or fictional characters. These interests can become a safe haven but may dominate their time and conversations.
- Social Mimicry
Many girls learn to “mimic” social interactions. They might laugh when others laugh or say what’s expected, but their connections can feel surface-level. They may struggle with deeper, reciprocal relationships.
- Sensory Sensitivities
Bright lights, loud noises, or itchy clothes can be overwhelming. Instead of vocalizing their discomfort, girls might withdraw or endure it silently.
- Difficulty with Change
A sudden change in routine, like a cancelled plan, can lead to noticeable distress. Girls might seem “controlling” because they crave predictability and order.
- Quiet Perfectionism
Girls often set unrealistically high standards for themselves, aiming for “perfect” outcomes to avoid judgment or criticism. This may result in fatigue and emotional drain.
How You Can Support Autism in Girls
As parents, educators, or therapists, recognizing these signs is crucial for fostering a nurturing and understanding atmosphere. Here’s what you can do:
- Observe Without Judging
Pay attention to patterns in behaviour. Is she retreating when overwhelmed? Does she fixate on a specific routine or interest?
- Encourage Expression
Establish an environment where she feels comfortable expressing her emotions. She uses tools like drawing, storytelling, or even role-play to help her process emotions.
- Respect Her Boundaries
If she’s avoiding noisy or crowded places, respect that. Provide alternatives, like quiet corners or sensory-friendly tools, to help her feel secure.
- Celebrate Her Interests
Dive into her world, whether dinosaurs, fashion, or outer space. Show her that her passions are valued and worth exploring.
- Focus on Strengths
Highlight her unique talents and abilities. Let her know that being different isn’t a flaw—it’s her superpower.
A Personal Note
I understand how easy it is to miss or dismiss these subtle signs, especially when our days are packed with responsibilities. But taking the time to notice—really notice—can make all the difference.
Girls like Sarah aren’t just quiet or shy; they’re navigating the world in a way that’s uniquely theirs. Let’s celebrate their individuality, support their needs, and create spaces where they can shine.
Want More Help?
If you’re unsure whether your child might be on the spectrum or need guidance on how to support them, I’m here to help. Schedule a one-on-one consultation with me by clicking here. Together, we can uncover the beauty of their uniqueness and give them the tools to thrive.
Recommended Products to Support Girls with Autism
Creating a supportive environment often involves using tools that help children feel secure, express themselves, and manage sensory sensitivities. Here are some products that can make a positive difference:
A chewable necklace designed for kids with sensory needs, it provides oral stimulation and helps manage anxiety. These are especially useful for children who may chew on clothing or pencils during stressful moments.
Weighted blankets offer deep-pressure stimulation, helping with relaxation and sleep. They’re great for children who struggle with sensory processing or find it difficult to wind down.
For children sensitive to loud environments, noise-cancelling headphones are a lifesaver. They help reduce overwhelming sounds and create a calm personal space.
Items like pop-its, stress balls, and fidget cubes help manage sensory needs while keeping hands busy. These are excellent tools for both home and school settings.
A must-have for children who thrive on routine, these boards use images and words to create daily schedules, reducing anxiety about changes.
These tools can complement the strategies discussed in this blog, providing practical ways to support your child. Always consider your child’s unique preferences and needs when selecting these items.
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