EducateAble

Not a Fail, Just a Fix: How Self-Testing Turned My Son’s Frustration Into Confidence

5 minutes

I watched my son circle the word “hop” on his worksheet. Then, without looking up, he took a pen and calmly wrote a bold F next to it.

Not F for fail.

F for fix.

Then he smiled.

That smile wasn’t always there.

Two years ago, even the thought of getting something “wrong” would set off a storm. The page would be torn, the pen flung across the room, and I’d hear the dreaded line:

“I’m just not good at this.”

Sound familiar?

If you’re parenting or teaching a neurodiverse child—especially one who’s been labelled “lazy,” “too sensitive,” or “distracted”—you’ve probably seen this too. That fear of failure. That resistance to correction. That fragile confidence breaks down over a single spelling mistake.

And let me tell you:

It’s not about the mistake. It’s about the meaning we’ve attached to it.

The Invisible Pressure Behind “Checking Work”

Most of us grew up hearing:

👉 “Check your answers.”

👉 “See where you went wrong.”

👉 “Erase the mistake.”

But to a neurodiverse child, this can feel like code for:

📣 “Prepare to be judged.”

📣 “You’re about to find proof that you’re not smart.”

📣 “Your value depends on how perfect this is.”

Now imagine flipping that script.

Imagine teaching your child to check their work not for punishment but for power.

Not to avoid a red mark from someone else…

…but to proudly say, “Hey! I caught that myself.”

That’s what Self-Test is all about.

How We Started Our “Fix or Ace” Ritual

At home, we began a playful ritual. Nothing fancy. No charts or trackers. Just a pen, a notebook, and a little mindset shift.

Here’s what we use:

  • ✍️ F = Fix it (Oops! I’ll try again.)
  • 🅰️ A = Ace (I got it!)
  • 🌟 A++ or Star = I nailed it. I’m proud.

Instead of me pointing out errors, he checks his own work first.

Instead of feeling corrected, he feels in control.

The first time he gave himself an “F” and didn’t spiral, I knew we were onto something. 

The second time, he gave himself an “A++” and grinned ear-to-ear? That was the real win.

Why It Works (Without Getting All Jargony)

When children are invited to reflect, not forced to fix, they:

  • Build awareness without anxiety.
  • Develop independence without resistance.
  • Experience success on their terms.

It’s not about letting them “get away with mistakes.” It’s about allowing them to own them.

Over time, this becomes more than an activity. It becomes a skill—a self-checking habit that builds emotional resilience, academic independence, and belief in one’s ability to grow.

Want to Try It? Start with This Activity 👇

🟢 The “Fix or Ace” Self-Test Routine:

  • Choose one task — a phonics sheet, a math problem, or even a short story they wrote.
  • Before you check it, hand them a pen and ask:

“Do you want to mark it yourself today?”

  • Show them the key:
    • F = Fix it
    • A = All good
    • A++ / ⭐ = Nailed it!
  • Celebrate the process, not just the outcome.

💡 Bonus Tip: Let them decorate their “Self-Check Key” card. Personalizing it makes it fun and easier to remember.

From Mistakes to Milestones

Some days, my son still gets overwhelmed. Some days, he asks me to check for him. That’s okay. This isn’t about perfection—it’s about permission.

Permission to grow.

Permission to try.

Permission to mark your work and say, “I see where I’m going—and I’m getting there.”

So the next time your child writes an “F,” don’t rush to correct it.

Pause, smile, and ask,

“What do you think we can fix together?”

Because of that moment right there?

That’s not a failure.

That’s a future in progress.

💬 Have you tried a self-test ritual at home or in your classroom? Drop a 💚 in the comments if you’d love to start!

Need help building personalized routines for your child’s learning and emotional development?

📲 Book a 1:1 consultation with me here → https://topmate.io/namita_das11

Let’s raise confident, curious kids—one discovery at a time.

🛒 Recommended Tools for Building Self-Assessment Skills

These tools can be excellent additions to your child’s learning routine, making self-assessment a fun and integral part of their educational journey.

If you need personalized guidance on integrating these tools into your child’s learning plan, feel free to book a 1:1 consultation with us:

👉 Book Now

Let’s work together to empower your child with the skills they need to succeed! 🌟