“You’re just stressed. Maybe you need some rest.”

That’s what the doctor told my friend Aanya last May, right around Women’s Health Month. She was juggling a full-time job, parenting her autistic son, managing meltdowns, preparing visual schedules, and still trying to be the mom who showed up with a smile at the PTA.

But something felt off.

Aanya had been waking up with pounding headaches, forgetting things mid-sentence, and her heart raced for no reason. She knew it wasn’t just stress. Still, she went home, made dinner, helped with homework, and didn’t press further.

Two months later, she was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder—missed, delayed, and dismissed.

The Invisible Weight Mothers Carry

I know this script all too well. We carry the invisible weight of caregiving:

Therapy appointments

Learning support

Emotional coaching

And all the unspoken “in-betweens”, such as preparing sensory-friendly meals and decoding behaviour mid-meltdown.

Yet, when we raise our hand for help, we’re often told:

“It’s probably hormonal.”

“You’re anxious.”

“Maybe you’re just doing too much.”

And while we are doing a lot, our physical and emotional needs deserve more than a casual shrug.

Why Gender Bias in Health Is a Silent Threat

Here’s what many don’t realise:

Persistent gender bias in healthcare is not just about being ignored. It’s about missed diagnoses, delayed care, and serious long-term risks.

• Women are more likely to be under-treated for pain.
• Symptoms like fatigue, anxiety, or brain fog are often chalked up to “just stress.”
• Even heart attacks present differently in women and are frequently misdiagnosed.

As caregivers, our instinct is to put everyone else first. But untreated issues in our bodies and minds don’t just affect us—they ripple out into how we parent, how we cope, and how we connect.

When the Caregiver Is Running on Empty

There’s a moment every mom of a neurodivergent child experiences:

You’ve explained the same thing ten times. Your child is stimming, or crying, or fixating. And instead of showing up with empathy, you snap. Not because you don’t love them. But because you haven’t had time to rest, check in with yourself, or even breathe.

This is where burnout breeds shame.

And shame convinces us we’re not doing enough.

But in reality? We’re trying to parent from an empty tank.

A Different Kind of Self-Care

Self-care isn’t always spa days and scented candles. Sometimes, it’s:

• Booking that long-overdue health check-up
• Saying “no” without explanation
• Asking your partner to handle bedtime for a week
• Take 10 minutes to ground yourself before a storm hits
• Journaling one word to describe your feeling today (not your child’s)

Let’s Try This: A 5-Minute Check-In Activity.

Here’s a quick self-regulation + reflection tool I use with moms during sessions:

The STOP Method (5 minutes daily)

S – Stop what you’re doing and sit, just for 60 seconds.

T – Take a deep breath. In for 4… hold for 2… out for 6.

O – Observe what’s happening in your body. Where do you feel tight? Tired?

P – Proceed with intention. Ask yourself: What do I need right now?

(A snack? A cry? A walk around the house? To lie down for 3 minutes?)

Do this daily for one week. You’ll be surprised how often your body whispers what your brain tries to silence.

Final Thoughts: You Matter, Too.

Mothers, educators, therapists, women—we are often the glue holding it all together.

But even glue needs rest, warmth, and reinforcement.

Today, I invite you to rewrite the script.

Speak up. Slow down. Seek help—not because you’re weak, but because you’re wise.

Your health matters.

Because your child isn’t just watching what you say—they’re watching how you care for yourself.

Has your health ever been dismissed or overlooked? Share your story in the comments. Let’s raise our voices, not just for ourselves, but for every woman who’s ever been told it’s “just stress.”

Need a listening ear or personalised support?

Recommended Tools & Courses

To support your journey toward better self-awareness and advocacy, here are some thoughtfully selected resources:

Self-Care Journals

• The Therapeutic Journal: A self-care journal for mothers – Authored by a mother, this guided journal offers prompts, reflective exercises, and mindfulness tools—perfect for busy moms needing a quiet moment of reconnection each day.
• MY STRESS TRACKER – A Journal to Map & Manage Your Stress – A simple yet effective tool to track daily stress levels, triggers, and coping strategies. Ideal for transforming the STOP method into written reflections and visually monitoring patterns.
• Daily Self-Care Journal for Women (A5) – Compact and beautifully designed, this wellness journal features daily prompts for mindfulness, setting goals, expressing gratitude, and managing stress, making it ideal for embedding positive self-care routines into a busy schedule.

Free Online Courses

• Introduction to Caregiving – This short, free online course covers the essentials of caregiving, including ethical considerations, communication, and emotional support. A helpful foundation for understanding how to care for others and yourself.
• Wellbeing & Mental Health – These cover stress management, emotional regulation, and holistic self-care—perfect for building personal resilience and modelling healthy coping strategies.

Why These Resources Matter

Each of these tools aligns with the themes of our blog:

• Journals offer a safe space to empathetically check in with yourself, helping you notice emotions, patterns, and needs—just like the STOP method we discussed earlier.
• Courses empower you with knowledge and strategies to establish healthy boundaries and care for yourself, which in turn strengthens your capacity to care for your children and family.

How to Use Them

Resource	Suggested Use
Journals	Dedicate even 5 minutes a day—perhaps after bedtime—to reflect, track anxiety/fatigue, journal gratitude, or affirmations.
Online Courses	Choose one course and commit to completing one module per week. Use it as a conversation starter in support groups or with your partner to involve them in your well-being.

Adding these tools and courses to your self-care toolkit can make the invisible load feel lighter—and normalise the practice of caring for yourself not out of luxury but necessity.

Curious about more personalised strategies? Feel free to comment below.

You’re not alone—and your wellness matters.