Last Tuesday, I found myself in a moment I’m not proud of.

My son, Kuku, knocked over a glass of water onto his spelling workbook. The ink bled, the pages stuck together, and the worksheet we had spent 20 minutes on was now a soggy mess.

I didn’t pause. I didn’t breathe.

I snapped. Loudly. Sharply.

He looked up—confused, eyes welling.

“I’m sorry, Mama… it was an accident.”

That’s when the guilt hit like a tidal wave. I wasn’t furious about the water.

So, what was really going on?

When It’s Not Just the Kids—It’s Our Chemistry

In the quiet that followed, I sat down with my tea (gone cold again, as usual), and a thought surfaced that I’d been pushing aside for months:

This isn’t just stress. This is my body shifting gears.

Welcome to perimenopause—the hormonal rollercoaster that can begin as early as your mid-30s and feel like an invisible thief, quietly stealing your patience, sleep, and emotional balance.

Mood swings. Brain fog. Sudden rage. Unexpected tears.

All while you’re still expected to be the calm, present, nurturing mom.

For those of us raising neurodiverse children, these fluctuations hit harder.

Why? Because our days already require more patience, more structure, more emotional regulation—and suddenly, the tools we’ve honed feel like they’re slipping through our fingers.

No One Told Us This Part

I’ve supported many parents navigating behavioural challenges in their children.

But what about the behaviour shifts in us?

What happens when:

• The sensory overload is not just from the child but from our own buzzing nerves?
• The morning meltdowns aren’t only theirs?
• Do our brains forget the routines we created?
• Are you suddenly crying in the pantry over unmatched socks?

Let me say this clearly:

You’re not losing it.

You’re evolving.

And this season, though messy and unspoken, deserves compassion and conversation.

Let’s Parent Ourselves First: What Helps When Hormones Hijack Our Calm

Here are a few small shifts that have helped me (and other clients) reconnect with calm in the chaos:

·       Create “Safe Scripts”

When you feel yourself heating up, rehearse a line in advance.

Something like:

“I’m feeling big feelings right now. Let me take a breath.”

This models self-regulation and gives you space.

·       Build an “Emergency Anchor Kit”

Not for your child—for you.

Include things like:

• A calming scent
• A song that resets your energy
• A visual (a silly photo of you and your child works wonders)
• A chewy snack (yes, adult sensory regulation is real)

·       Use Visual Timers—for Yourself

Set a timer for your own pauses.

Allow yourself 5 minutes in the bathroom, 2 minutes before reacting, and 10 minutes of quiet time after bedtime.

You are also allowed to structure your space as you see fit.

·       Name the Shift to Your Child

With children, honesty builds trust.

I’ve told Kuku:

“Mama’s body is changing a little right now, and sometimes it makes her grumpy. But it’s not your fault.”

It gives them permission to have big feelings, too.

·       Weekly Mood Tracker (Yes, You Too!)

If you track your child’s behaviours, try this for yourself.

Create a basic tracker:

Mood | Sleep Quality | Energy | Triggers | Self-Soothing Win

Over time, you’ll spot patterns—especially those linked to cycle changes.

Activity: The Mirror Letter

This one’s gentle—and powerful.

At the end of a long day, write a short note to yourself as if you were your own child.

Try:

“Dear Mama,

You tried your best today. Even when it was hard. Even when you didn’t have all the answers. I’m proud of you.”

Stick it on your mirror. Read it every morning.

Because grace begins with you.

The Takeaway? You’re Allowed to Be Human.

You’re a parent.

You’re a woman.

You’re a beautifully complex system of love, hormones, memories, expectations, dreams, and exhaustion.

You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to keep showing up—with a little more kindness toward yourself.

Let’s normalise these messy, magical mid-life transitions—so we can raise emotionally healthy kids without sacrificing our own well-being.

Need support on this journey?

Whether you’re parenting through perimenopause or just navigating a tough season—we’re here for you.

Comment below: What’s one thing you wish someone told you about this phase of parenting?

Recommended Resources

Looking for tools to help you navigate perimenopause and emotional regulation while parenting? Here are two helpful picks:

·       Free Self-Paced Course

“The Menopause Journey: Embracing the Transition With Confidence” — This free, 100% online course guides you through the hormonal stages, practical self‑care strategies, and stress management techniques to boost your confidence and wellness during perimenopause and menopause.

Why it fits your journey

• No cost, accessible anytime
• Explores emotional and physical symptoms
• Empowers you to build a supportive self-care routine aligned with your day-to-day parenting life

·       Symptom & Mood Tracking Journal

If you’re someone who finds structure and insight helpful, try using a dedicated journal to track hormonal and emotional patterns:

• Em & Friends Menopause Tracker Journal: A beautifully designed pocket journal for logging daily symptoms, moods, sleep, and stress — ideal for seeing cyclical patterns over time.

How to Use These Together

Step	Tool	How it Helps
1	Take the course	Enhance your awareness of hormonal shifts and develop effective self-care strategies to support your overall well-being.
2	Use the tracker journal.	Log how you feel each day—mood, energy, sleep, stress—even jot down a mini “pause and name it” moment.
3	Review weekly	See trends. Notice how parenting moments and hormone dips align. Use this insight to plan self-care resets before tough days.

Together, these tools support the awareness + action loop: learning more about your body and applying small, consistent shifts that ripple into your parenting. Because you deserve support through this transition, not just after it.