Mistakes often trigger shame and withdrawal in children and adults. Neurodiverse individuals experience this more frequently due to repeated external correction and feedback loops. A small shift in perspective supports self-worth and learning progress.

This short story offers a simple illustration. A crayon snaps. The shape changes. The pigment remains. The value remains. The outcome still holds color. The break does not erase usefulness. The break reshapes the way it works.

Why this story matters

Research on self-compassion shows higher resilience and lower self-criticism in children and adults who frame errors as learning experiences rather than identity threats. Kristin Neff describes self-kindness and acceptance of imperfections as a protective factor for stress and emotional overload (Neff, 2011).

Growth mindset research also highlights the importance of consistent encouragement around effort and strategy. Carol Dweck’s work indicates that children perform better when feedback focuses on process rather than judgment of talent (Dweck, 2006).

For neurodiverse learners, positive reinforcement supports skill development and confidence. Frequent correction without acknowledgement of effort sometimes leads to avoidance, shutdown or masking.

Why neurodiverse learners benefit from this approach

Neurodiverse profiles often include alternative learning pathways. Small adjustments in thinking or method unlock progress. A broken crayon still delivers color. A learner’s journey still holds value after a setback.

Parents, shadow teachers and educators often report these patterns:
• After a mistake, negative self-talk increases.
• Fear of failure interrupts exploration.
• The learner withdraws from a task.

Reframing mistakes shifts focus from failure to function.

A simple activity to try

Use broken crayons to create a drawing with children or students. The material already fits small hands, supports pressure control and reduces fear of breaking tools.

Steps:

1. Place small crayon pieces on the table.
2. Invite the learner to choose any piece.
3. Begin drawing a simple picture together.
4. Point out color, movement and texture.
5. Highlight expression rather than accuracy.

This small exercise strengthens executive function, fine motor practice and emotional regulation.

What self-worth after a mistake looks like

Self-worth develops through these statements:
• “A mistake does not define my identity.”
• “My work still holds value.”
• “I continue after setbacks.”

This aligns with evidence-based interventions in social emotional learning, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and expressive arts therapy. Research shows that creative tasks lower anxiety and support self-reflection (Kaimal et al., 2016).

Practical guidance for adults

Parents and educators shape the experience around mistakes. The goal is not perfection. The goal is participation and confidence.

Try these responses:
• “Your effort stands out.”
• “This part worked well.”
• “What step comes next for you.”

Avoid responses that trigger shame or comparison. Encourage pauses, breathing and re-engagement.

Video activity idea

Our short video for Educateable demonstrates this process:
• A crayon breaks.
• The piece still produces color.
• A small artwork appears.
• The outcome proves value did not disappear.

The purpose is to show resilience through action rather than explanation.

What this teaches the learner

• A break does not erase worth.
• New shapes still hold function.
• Progress continues beyond mistakes.

These insights support classroom routines, therapy sessions and home environments. Small creative practices reduce overwhelm and promote confidence.

Evidence sources

Neff, K. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself.
Dweck, C. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.
Kaimal, G., Ray, K., & Muniz, J. (2016). Reduction of Cortisol Levels and Participants’ Responses Following Art Making. Art Therapy: Journal of the American Art Therapy Association.

Apply this in daily settings

For shadow teachers:
• Introduce broken crayons for low-pressure writing.
• Use this exercise as a reset during task frustration.

For educators:
• Display work that shows process and revision.
• Encourage alternative problem solving.

For parents:
• Keep broken crayon pieces accessible.
• Reinforce progress language.

A reminder for every learner

Mistakes do not eliminate your value. Skills grow through use. A changed shape still produces color. Your work holds meaning during imperfect moments.

Try this next

Visit Educateable for more strategies and tools:
• Shadow teaching practice templates
• Emotional regulation activities
• Inclusive classroom ideas
• Short videos and art based exercises

Share this post with someone who supports neurodiverse learners. Save it for days when confidence feels low. Follow Educateable for daily content built for shadow teachers, educators, parents and neurodiverse children and adults.