As parents, we often ask questions like:

“What’s wrong?”
“Why are you upset?”
“Can you tell me what happened?”

Sometimes our children answer with silence.

Not because they don’t trust us, but because they simply don’t have the words.

Children, especially those in the early primary years, often communicate emotions more naturally through play, stories, movement, and art than through direct conversation. This is one reason expressive arts therapy techniques are so effective. They create a safe, non-threatening way for children to express thoughts and feelings that may otherwise remain hidden.

One activity that beautifully demonstrates this is The Garden You Water.

Watch the Activity in Action

Before trying it at home, watch the complete demonstration on YouTube.

▶ Watch the video here

Seeing the activity performed makes it much easier to recreate with your own child.

Why Art Helps Children Express Emotions

Young children are still developing emotional vocabulary.

They may recognise feelings such as sadness, frustration, disappointment or loneliness, but struggle to explain them.

Drawing provides another language.

Instead of searching for the “right” words, children can communicate through symbols, colours, images and metaphors.

Research has consistently shown that creative expression can support:

Emotional awareness
Self-expression
Parent-child communication
Emotional regulation
Confidence
Problem-solving
Reflection

It is important to remember that this activity is not designed to diagnose or assess your child. It is simply a gentle way to encourage meaningful conversations.

The Garden You Water Activity

What You’ll Need

Two sheets of paper
Coloured pencils or crayons
Sticky notes or small paper flowers (optional)
Around 15 to 20 minutes of uninterrupted time

Step 1: Draw Two Gardens

On one sheet, draw:

🌼 A colourful healthy garden.

Include flowers, trees, butterflies or anything your child enjoys.

On the second sheet, draw:

🥀 Dry soil with a few weeds.

The artwork does not need to be perfect.

Simple drawings work just as well.

Step 2: Explain the Metaphor

Tell your child:

“Imagine every kind word, hug or moment someone listens to you is like watering your garden.”

Then ask:

“What helps your garden grow?”

Every answer becomes a flower.

Examples may include:

Mum reads with me.
Dad plays football with me.
Grandma hugs me.
My teacher smiles at me.
My brother shares his toys.
We eat dinner together.

Write each answer inside a flower or add a paper flower to the garden.

Step 3: Explore the Weeds

Next ask:

“What grows weeds in your garden?”

Children may answer:

When I’m shouted at.
When people compare me.
When nobody listens.
When my feelings are ignored.
When I get laughed at.
When everyone is busy.

Write each answer in the dry garden.

Remember:

This is not the moment to explain, defend or correct.

Your role is simply to listen.

Why This Activity Works

Children often struggle to answer questions like:

“Why are you angry?”
“What’s bothering you?”

But they can usually answer:

“What helps your garden grow?”

The metaphor creates emotional distance.

Instead of talking directly about themselves, children talk about a garden.

Ironically, this often leads to far more honest conversations.

What Parents Learn

Many parents expect the flowers to be:

Expensive gifts
Holidays
Toys
Rewards

Instead, children often mention surprisingly simple things.

Examples include:

Sitting together
Reading a bedtime story
Being listened to
Playing for ten minutes
Receiving a hug
Hearing “I’m proud of you”

These everyday interactions often matter far more than parents realise.

Positive Parenting Is About Watering Growth

Positive parenting does not mean saying yes to everything.

It means intentionally strengthening the behaviours and relationships you want to see grow.

Children thrive when they experience:

Emotional safety
Predictability
Encouragement
Respect
Connection
Healthy boundaries

The garden becomes a reminder that relationships require regular care.

Just as flowers cannot survive without water, emotional connections need consistent attention.

Questions to Reflect on Together

After completing the activity, ask:

Which garden looks fuller today?
Which flower is your favourite?
Which weed would you like us to remove first?
What is one flower we can grow more often this week?

These questions encourage collaboration instead of blame.

Adapting the Activity for Different Ages

Ages 4 to 6

Keep the discussion simple.

Let children draw pictures instead of writing.

Focus on colours and storytelling.

Ages 7 to 10

Encourage children to explain why they chose each flower or weed.

This age group often enjoys decorating the gardens with stickers and labels.

Ages 11 to 14

Allow older children to create their own metaphors.

Instead of a garden, they may choose:

A video game
A football team
A city
A spaceship
A treehouse

Giving them ownership increases engagement.

Common Mistakes Parents Make

Avoid these responses:

❌ “That didn’t happen.”

❌ “You’re overreacting.”

❌ “That’s not true.”

❌ “You misunderstood.”

Instead try:

✔ “Thank you for telling me.”

✔ “I didn’t realise you felt that way.”

✔ “I’m glad you shared this.”

✔ “Let’s think about how we can grow more flowers together.”

When Should You Try This Activity?

This activity works well:

During weekends
Family evenings
School holidays
After a disagreement has settled
As part of a weekly family check-in

There is no need to wait until a problem arises.

Regular conversations build trust before challenges occur.

Recommended Resources

If you plan to use expressive art activities regularly, these supplies are excellent additions to your home.

Basic Art Supplies

Creative Extras

Books for Positive Parenting

The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read by Philippa Perry
Raising Good Humans by Hunter Clarke-Fields

Final Thoughts

Children are constantly communicating.

Sometimes through words.

Sometimes through behaviour.

And sometimes through a simple drawing.

The Garden You Water reminds us that connection begins with curiosity rather than correction. By inviting children to express themselves creatively, we gain valuable insight into their emotional world while strengthening the relationship that matters most.

You do not need to be an artist, therapist or parenting expert to try this activity. All you need is a few sheets of paper, a willingness to listen, and the intention to grow together.

Watch the YouTube Demonstration

If you’d like to see exactly how to guide this activity, watch the short demonstration here:

▶ Watch on YouTube

Continue Learning with EducateAble

If you enjoy practical, psychology-backed activities that help children build emotional intelligence, confidence and resilience:

📺 Subscribe to the EducateAble YouTube channel for weekly videos on parenting, child psychology and expressive arts activities.
💬 Book a parenting consultation if you’d like personalised support for your family.
📚 Explore our parenting resources and courses designed to help parents, educators and professionals support children’s emotional wellbeing.
📩 Subscribe to the blog newsletter so you never miss new activities, research insights and practical parenting ideas.

Every meaningful conversation begins with one small step. Today, that step could be as simple as drawing a garden together.