He asked me with wide eyes,

“What if I get everything wrong?”

He’s not quite a teenager yet, but the questions are already showing up — big, grown-up, messy ones that sneak into bedtime conversations or car rides to piano class.

He still lines up his toy cars before he brushes his teeth. But he’s also asking how much a flight to London costs.

And I’ll admit it:

That scares me a little.

The Gap No One Talks About

There’s this strange in-between space our kids enter — not small enough for lullabies, not big enough for total independence.

It’s the age when:

• They want to know about taxes but still forget to pack their water bottles
• They crave independence but quietly hope you’ll double-check their homework
• They act like they don’t need you, but their eyes flick to you in a crowded room just to be sure

As a counsellor, I see this every day — anxious tweens on the edge of adolescence, parents unsure how much to say, how much to hold, and how much to let go.

The world tells us to “prepare them for adulthood.”

But what does that even mean when we are still figuring things out?

Here’s What I Know for Sure:

Kids don’t need us to make the road smooth.

They need us to be beside them when it gets bumpy.

💡 They learn more from how we respond to life than what we teach.

💡 They remember how we made them feel, not just what we told them.

The Real Problem: Performance vs. Preparedness

Many parents confuse preparing their children with pushing them to perform.

We overload them with skills but undernourish their self-trust.

We give them career tips, budgeting tools, and college lists.

But we forget to talk about:

• How to say no
• How to handle failure
• How to ask for help
• How to feel uncomfortable and not panic

We teach them what to do. But rarely do we help them understand who they are becoming.

So, What Helps?

I’ll be honest. I’m still learning too. But I tried something recently with my son that worked so beautifully — and I’ve adapted it for the tweens and teens I work with.

🌟 Try This: “The Life Backpack” Activity

👜 Sit down with your child and hand them a backpack.

Ask:

“If you had to pack for life, what would you need?”

No wrong answers. Let them say:

• Courage
• Chocolate
• Knowing how to make friends
• Being okay with mistakes
• A playlist for when life feels weird

Now, write each of those on a small slip of paper.

Let them stuff the backpack.

Over the next few days, pull out one slip each evening and talk about it.

Use personal stories. Keep it honest, light, and real.

Why it works?

🧠 It builds emotional vocabulary

💛 It deepens your connection

🪞 It gives them a sense of ownership over their becoming

Final Thoughts – From One Parent to Another

We don’t need to raise perfect kids.

We need to raise kids who are curious, resilient, and connected to themselves.

And in case no one has told you this today:

You’re doing better than you think.

Let’s raise humans who can find their way in the world — not because we showed them every road,

but because they trust themselves enough to walk it.

💬 Have you tried something that helped your child feel more “ready” for the world? Drop it in the comments — I’d love to hear.

Or if you’re feeling a little lost in this stage (you’re not alone), I’d love to walk with you.

📅 Click here to book a 1:1 consultation with me

📚 Recommended Reads for Parents and Young Adults

1. Launching Your Teen into Adulthood: Parenting Through the Transition This guide provides checklists, interviews, and resource sheets to help parents and teens prepare for and succeed in the transition to adulthood.
2. The Breakaway: A Parent’s Guide to Transitioning the Autistic and Exceptional Adolescent into Adulthood A valuable resource offering a concrete and realistic approach for guiding neurodiverse teens into adulthood.
3. Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood Clinical psychologist Lisa Damour provides an accessible, detailed guide to parenting teenage girls through their journey from girlhood to womanhood.
4. Transitioning from School to Adulthood: Practical Activities for Youth with Autism and Other Disabilities This book offers practical, step-by-step activities to support students with autism and related disorders transitioning from school to adulthood.
5. Successfully Launching into Young Adulthood with ADHD: Firsthand Guidance for Parents and Professionals Provides firsthand guidance for parents and professionals to help teens with ADHD transition into young adulthood.

Feel free to explore these resources to find the guidance that resonates best with your family’s needs. If you have any questions or need personalized support, please reach out.

💬 Have you encountered any tools or books that have helped in this journey? Share your recommendations in the comments below!

📅 Need personalized guidance? Click here to book a 1:1 consultation with me.