Every parent wants their child to become confident, resilient, and willing to try new things. Yet, many children become upset after making even the smallest mistake. A single incorrect answer, a drawing that does not look “perfect”, or losing a game can make them feel like they have failed.
Our instinct is often to reassure them with phrases like:
- “It’s okay.”
- “Don’t cry.”
- “Everyone makes mistakes.”
- “Just try again.”
While these words are well intentioned, children rarely develop resilience through advice alone. They learn it by experiencing it.
This is where expressive arts therapy offers a powerful approach.
Why Children Fear Mistakes
Children are not born afraid of making mistakes.
Fear often develops through experiences such as:
- Being praised only for getting things right.
- Comparing themselves with siblings or classmates.
- Feeling pressure to perform well.
- Believing that mistakes disappoint adults.
- Perfectionistic tendencies.
When mistakes become associated with failure rather than learning, children may begin to:
- Avoid challenges.
- Give up quickly.
- Become anxious about schoolwork.
- Refuse to try new activities.
- Lose confidence in their abilities.
Helping children change the meaning they attach to mistakes can make a significant difference to their emotional wellbeing.
An Expressive Arts Therapy Activity That Teaches Resilience
This simple activity allows children to experience an important psychological lesson rather than simply hearing about it.
What You’ll Need
- Two sheets of paper
- Drawing materials such as crayons, coloured pencils or markers
Step 1
Give your child the first sheet of paper.
Ask them to create a drawing while trying not to make any mistakes.
Many children naturally become cautious, erase frequently or worry about every line.
Step 2
Now give them the second sheet.
This time, explain:
“Whenever you make a mistake, crumple the paper into a ball, smooth it back out, and continue drawing.”
Repeat this every time they notice a mistake.
Encourage them to keep creating until the drawing is complete.
Step 3
Place both finished drawings side by side.
One paper will remain smooth.
The other will have wrinkles from being crumpled several times.
Despite the wrinkles, both drawings are complete.
Often, the wrinkled paper becomes the child’s favourite because it represents perseverance rather than perfection.
The Psychological Lesson
Children begin to understand an important truth:
Mistakes may leave marks, but they do not stop us from creating something meaningful.
Rather than hearing an adult say, “Don’t give up”, they discover through experience that they can continue even after something goes wrong.
Experiential learning like this often creates stronger and longer lasting emotional understanding than verbal instruction alone.
How This Connects With Expressive Arts Therapy
Expressive arts therapy uses creative experiences to help people explore thoughts, emotions and behaviours.
The focus is not on producing perfect artwork.
Instead, the creative process becomes a safe space where children can:
- Build emotional resilience.
- Develop self-awareness.
- Express difficult emotions.
- Strengthen problem-solving skills.
- Increase confidence.
- Practise flexibility in thinking.
The activity above gently introduces the idea that imperfection is part of learning, without making children feel criticised or judged.
Questions to Ask Afterwards
Reflection is one of the most valuable parts of the activity.
Consider asking:
- Which drawing did you enjoy making more?
- How did you feel when you crumpled the paper?
- Was it easier or harder to keep drawing afterwards?
- Can you think of another time you made a mistake but kept going?
- What did today’s activity teach you?
Avoid giving the “correct” answer.
Allow your child to arrive at their own insights.
Variations for Different Ages
Preschoolers (3 to 5 years)
Use simple shapes, scribbles or colouring instead of detailed drawings.
Primary School Children (6 to 10 years)
Invite them to draw their favourite animal, superhero or imaginary creature.
Older Children and Teenagers
Ask them to create something representing a recent challenge they have overcome. Afterwards, discuss how resilience applies beyond art, including friendships, academics and hobbies.
Tips for Parents
- Praise effort rather than the final product.
- Avoid correcting every small mistake.
- Share your own mistakes and what you learned from them.
- Model curiosity instead of frustration when things go wrong.
- Celebrate persistence as much as achievement.
Children who believe mistakes are opportunities for growth are more likely to take healthy risks, solve problems creatively and persevere through challenges.
Watch the Activity in Action
Want to see exactly how this activity works?
Watch my short demonstration on YouTube, where I walk you through each step and explain why this simple exercise can have such a powerful impact on children’s emotional development.
If you find it helpful, please like the video, subscribe to the channel and share it with another parent, teacher or caregiver.
Recommended Art Supplies
If you’d like to recreate this activity at home, here are a few supplies worth keeping in your creative toolkit:
- Thick drawing paper or mixed media paper
- Washable markers
- Jumbo crayons for younger children
- Coloured pencils
- Watercolour pencils
- Oil pastels
- Child-safe scissors
- Glue sticks
- Watercolour paint set
- Sketchbook for creative journalling
- Storage organiser for art supplies
Final Thoughts
Resilience is not something we can lecture children into developing.
It grows through repeated experiences of trying, struggling, adapting and continuing.
Sometimes, all it takes is two sheets of paper and the freedom to keep creating after a mistake.
Those wrinkles may remain on the page, but they also become a reminder that growth is rarely perfect, and that is exactly what makes it meaningful.
Continue Learning
If you enjoy practical activities that support children’s emotional wellbeing, expressive arts and positive parenting:
- Subscribe to my YouTube channel for weekly evidence-informed activities.
- Follow me on social media for parenting tips and child psychology insights.
- Book a one-to-one parenting or child support session if you’d like personalised guidance.
- Explore my other articles on expressive arts therapy, child development and emotional resilience.
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