The Painting That Tells a Story
Imagine painting a beautiful picture.
You start with bright colours. Perhaps yellow represents happiness, blue represents sadness, red represents anger and grey represents fear.
You look at your painting and decide that you do not like certain colours. You take another brush, cover them with white paint and start again.
A little later, you notice another colour that you would rather hide. You paint over that, too.
Eventually, the canvas has several layers of paint. The original picture is almost impossible to recognise.
But what happened to those original colours?
They are still underneath.
This simple painting demonstration offers an interesting way to explore something many of us experience in everyday life: emotional suppression.
We hide sadness behind a smile, swallow our frustration to avoid an argument, or tell people that everything is fine when we are struggling internally.
Over time, we can become so accustomed to concealing our feelings that recognising and communicating them becomes difficult.
In this article, we will explore what happens when we repeatedly suppress emotions and how creative expression can help us reconnect with our emotional experiences.
1. What Is Emotional Suppression?
Emotional suppression refers to deliberately controlling or concealing the outward expression of an emotion.
You might feel disappointed but smile because you do not want anyone to know. You might feel angry during a conversation but pretend that nothing has happened.
The emotion is present, although your outward behaviour communicates something different.
There is an important distinction between experiencing an emotion and expressing it.
For example:
- You feel sad but decide not to cry in front of your colleagues.
- You feel frustrated with your child but choose to pause before responding.
- You feel anxious about an upcoming event but tell your family that you are perfectly fine.
These responses can serve different purposes depending on the situation.
Choosing when and where to express an emotion can be a useful social skill. However, repeatedly concealing feelings without acknowledging or processing them can become an unhelpful coping pattern.
Research published in the journal Emotion examined emotional suppression in everyday relationships. The findings associated greater suppression with increased depressed mood and fatigue, lower self-esteem and reduced relationship satisfaction.
This suggests that habitual emotional suppression can have consequences for personal wellbeing and relationships.
2. Why Do We Keep Hiding Our Feelings?
People develop different ways of managing emotions through their experiences, relationships and environments.
There are several reasons why someone might find it difficult to express what they feel.
Fear of judgement
A teenager might avoid telling friends that something hurt their feelings because they fear being called sensitive.
An adult might avoid expressing disappointment because they worry about appearing unprofessional.
The possibility of being judged can make emotional silence feel safer.
Childhood experiences
Children learn about emotions through their interactions with caregivers.
If a child repeatedly hears phrases such as:
- Stop crying.
- There is nothing to be upset about.
- Big boys do not cry.
- You are making a fuss over nothing.
They may gradually learn that certain emotional expressions are unwelcome.
Some children begin hiding their feelings to gain approval or avoid conflict.
As adults, these learned responses can continue influencing how they communicate their emotional needs.
The pressure to appear strong
Many people associate emotional expression with weakness.
They may believe that showing sadness means losing control or that admitting fear makes them less capable.
This belief can create pressure to maintain an appearance of constant confidence, even during difficult periods.
Avoiding conflict
Some people suppress their feelings to keep relationships peaceful.
They agree when they disagree, remain silent when something bothers them, or repeatedly put aside their own needs.
Although this can prevent an immediate disagreement, unresolved concerns may continue affecting the relationship.
Understanding these patterns is an important step towards developing healthier emotional responses.
3. What Happens When You Keep Painting Over Your Emotions?
Think about the canvas again.
Each new layer covers something that was previously visible.
The same metaphor can help us understand the possible consequences of habitual emotional suppression.
You may struggle to identify what you feel
When you repeatedly dismiss emotional experiences, recognising them can become harder.
You might know that something feels uncomfortable without being able to explain whether you are disappointed, frightened, frustrated or overwhelmed.
Emotional awareness begins with noticing and identifying these experiences.
Your emotional needs may remain unaddressed
Emotions can provide information about our experiences and needs.
Frustration might indicate that a boundary has been crossed. Sadness might accompany a loss. Fear might signal a situation that needs careful consideration.
Ignoring these signals can make it harder to identify what needs attention.
Relationships can become difficult
When people consistently hide their feelings, those around them may struggle to understand what they are experiencing.
A person might appear distant when they are hurt or irritable when they are overwhelmed.
This can create misunderstandings and make meaningful communication more difficult.
Emotional distress may become harder to manage
Research has found associations between habitual emotional suppression and poorer indicators of psychological wellbeing.
It is important to remember that suppression does not automatically lead to a mental health condition. Individual experiences differ, and the context in which someone uses emotional suppression matters.
The key consideration is whether hiding feelings has become the primary way of dealing with difficult experiences.
4. The Difference Between Emotional Suppression and Emotional Regulation
These two concepts are often confused.
Emotional regulation involves recognising an emotion and responding to it in a way that supports your wellbeing and the situation.
Emotional suppression involves inhibiting the outward expression of an emotion.
Consider this example.
You receive disappointing feedback at work.
Emotional suppression:
You feel hurt but immediately tell yourself that you should not feel this way. You pretend everything is fine and avoid thinking about the experience.
Emotional regulation:
You recognise that the feedback has upset you. You give yourself time to understand your reaction, consider what was said and decide how you want to respond.
The second approach allows you to acknowledge your feelings while choosing your behaviour.
You do not need to express every emotion immediately or in every situation. You can decide when it is appropriate to communicate what you feel.
Developing this flexibility is an important part of emotional wellbeing.
5. Expressive Arts Therapy: Exploring Emotions Through Painting
Words are not always the easiest way to communicate an emotional experience.
A person might struggle to explain what they are feeling, particularly when emotions are confusing or difficult to put into language.
Creative expression can offer another way to explore these experiences.
In expressive arts therapy, different creative processes can provide opportunities for emotional exploration, reflection and communication.
Painting is particularly interesting because it allows people to work with colour, texture, shapes and layers.
A person does not need to create a technically perfect picture or know how to draw.
The creative process itself can become a starting point for reflection.
For example, someone might choose dark colours when exploring a difficult experience, use overlapping shapes to represent conflicting feelings or create an image that represents what they wish they could communicate.
There is no universal meaning attached to a particular colour. The meaning comes from the individual’s own associations and experiences.
A painting can also provide a little distance from a difficult subject, allowing someone to observe and reflect on what they have created.
6. Try This Expressive Arts Activity: The Layers Beneath the Surface
This activity is inspired by the central idea of this episode of One Picture, One Life Lesson.
Purpose: To encourage emotional awareness and explore the experience of hiding or acknowledging feelings.
Suitable for: Teenagers and adults. Parents can adapt the activity for older children.
Time required: Approximately 20–30 minutes.
Materials required:
- Acrylic paints in different colours.
- A canvas board or thick mixed-media paper.
- Paintbrushes.
- A palette.
- A palette knife, optional.
- Water and tissues for cleaning.
Step 1: Choose your colours
Start by selecting colours that represent different feelings for you.
You could choose:
- Yellow for happiness.
- Blue for sadness.
- Red for anger.
- Grey for uncertainty.
- Green for calmness.
These are only suggestions. Choose colours according to your own associations.
Paint different sections of the canvas using your selected colours.
Reflection prompt: Which feelings were easiest for you to represent?
Step 2: Paint over the original picture
Choose another colour and cover some of the sections you have painted.
Continue adding layers until the original picture becomes less visible.
As you paint, consider situations in which you have hidden your feelings.
Perhaps you smiled when you were disappointed, stayed quiet when you wanted to speak or pretended that something did not bother you.
You do not need to write down or share personal experiences unless you feel comfortable doing so.
Step 3: Look beneath the surface
Allow the paint to dry sufficiently before gently exploring the layers.
You can use a palette knife to create texture in the wet paint or leave some sections uncovered to reveal the colours underneath.
Observe the original colours emerging through the newer layers.
Reflection prompt: What do you notice about the colours that were covered?
Step 4: Give your painting a title
Look at your completed artwork and choose a title that represents your experience.
It could be something such as:
- Beneath the Smile
- What I Never Said
- Layers of Silence
- Finding My Colours Again
There is no correct title.
Step 5: Reflect on the experience
Take a few moments to consider these questions:
- Which emotion did I find easiest to cover?
- Which feeling did I hesitate to represent?
- What would acknowledging these feelings look like in my everyday life?
- Is there someone I feel comfortable speaking to about my experiences?
You can write your reflections in a journal or simply spend some quiet time thinking about them.
Important: This is a self-reflection activity inspired by expressive arts therapy. It is not a diagnostic tool or a substitute for professional counselling. Avoid forcing yourself to revisit distressing memories. If the activity brings up overwhelming feelings, pause, ground yourself and seek appropriate support.
7. How Parents Can Help Children Express Their Feelings
Children need opportunities to understand that different emotions are a normal part of being human.
Parents play an important role in creating an environment where children feel comfortable communicating their experiences.
Here are some practical approaches.
Acknowledge feelings before correcting behaviour
If your child is crying after losing a game, begin by acknowledging the disappointment.
You could say:
“I can see that losing was disappointing. Would you like to tell me what upset you?”
This gives the child an opportunity to communicate before moving towards problem-solving.
Expand their emotional vocabulary
Children may use broad descriptions such as happy, sad or angry.
Help them explore more specific words, including:
- Disappointed.
- Embarrassed.
- Frustrated.
- Worried.
- Lonely.
Having more words available can make emotional communication easier.
Use creative expression
Painting, clay modelling, collage and storytelling can provide alternative ways for children to explore their feelings.
For example, you could invite your child to paint what a difficult day felt like.
Avoid interpreting the artwork on their behalf. Ask what the colours and shapes mean to them.
Model healthy emotional expression
Children observe how adults respond to frustration, disappointment and stress.
When appropriate, communicate your own feelings in an age-appropriate manner.
For example:
“I felt frustrated earlier, so I took a little time to calm down before we spoke.”
This demonstrates that emotions can be acknowledged and managed constructively.
Avoid demanding immediate explanations
A child might need time before they can explain what happened.
Offer reassurance and let them know that you are available when they are ready to talk.
Creating emotional safety can make future conversations easier.
8. When Should You Consider Professional Support?
Emotional suppression can become concerning when it consistently interferes with daily functioning or relationships.
Consider seeking support from a qualified mental health professional if you notice:
- Persistent difficulty identifying or communicating feelings.
- Repeated emotional withdrawal from relationships.
- Ongoing distress that feels difficult to manage.
- Anxiety or low mood affecting everyday activities.
- Difficulty expressing needs or establishing boundaries.
Counselling can provide a supportive space to explore emotional patterns and develop more helpful coping strategies.
Creative approaches may also be incorporated into therapy when appropriate to the person’s needs and preferences.
There is no requirement to express emotions through art. Different people respond to different approaches, and therapy should respect individual preferences.
9. A Small Reflection to Take Away
Return to the painting metaphor.
Imagine looking at a canvas with several layers of paint.
You can see traces of the colours underneath, even though much of the original picture is covered.
Now consider your own emotional experiences.
Are there feelings you have been avoiding? Are there things you wish you could communicate? Have you become accustomed to saying that everything is fine?
You do not need to find all the answers immediately.
Start by noticing what you feel. Give yourself permission to acknowledge the experience without judging it.
And when you feel ready, consider what might help you express it safely.
Your feelings deserve to be heard, even when finding the words takes time.
Watch the One Picture, One Life Lesson YouTube Short
Want to see the painting metaphor in action?
In Episode 5 of EducateAble’s One Picture, One Life Lesson series, we explore what happens when we repeatedly cover our emotions through a simple layered painting demonstration.
Watch the video here:
Watch: What Happens When You Keep Painting Over Everything? | EducateAble
Subscribe to the EducateAble YouTube channel for more short videos exploring emotional wellbeing, expressive arts and everyday life lessons.
Art Supplies to Explore: Create Your Own Layered Painting
You do not need expensive art materials to try this activity. A basic acrylic painting kit is enough to get started.
Here are some useful supplies you can consider adding to your creative toolkit.
1. Beginner Acrylic Paint Set
A set containing a range of colours gives you flexibility when representing different emotional experiences.
2. Canvas Boards or Canvas Panels
Canvas boards provide a firm surface for experimenting with overlapping paint layers. Smaller boards are particularly convenient for this activity.
3. Acrylic Paint Brushes
A basic synthetic brush set with flat and round brushes is suitable for applying paint across different areas of the canvas.
4. Palette Knife Set
Palette knives can help create textured layers and reveal underlying colours. They are also useful for mixing paint.
5. Mixed Media Art Journal
An art journal provides space for painting, writing and recording personal reflections. It can be useful for people who want to continue exploring creative self-expression.
Affiliate disclosure: This article contains Amazon affiliate links. If you purchase through these links, EducateAble may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. We only recommend materials relevant to the creative activities discussed in this article.
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Frequently Asked Questions
1. What happens when you suppress your emotions?
Repeated emotional suppression can make it harder to recognise and communicate feelings. Research has associated habitual suppression with lower psychological wellbeing and difficulties in relationships. Individual experiences vary.
2. Is hiding your feelings unhealthy?
Concealing emotions can be appropriate in certain situations. However, consistently hiding feelings without acknowledging or addressing them may become an unhelpful coping strategy.
3. How can painting help with emotional awareness?
Painting provides a non-verbal way to explore feelings through colours, shapes and textures. The creative process can encourage self-reflection and help people communicate experiences that may be difficult to describe verbally.
4. Can expressive arts therapy help with emotional regulation?
Expressive arts therapy can support emotional exploration and awareness within an appropriate therapeutic setting. Creative activities may help individuals communicate their experiences and reflect on their responses. The approach is adapted to individual needs.
5. How can parents encourage children to express their feelings?
Parents can acknowledge children’s emotions, introduce specific feeling words and offer creative ways to communicate. Listening without judgement also helps children feel safer when discussing difficult experiences.
6. Can I try this painting activity without artistic experience?
Absolutely. The activity focuses on personal reflection rather than artistic skill. You can use simple colours and overlapping paint layers to explore the metaphor.
Final Thoughts
We all encounter feelings that are difficult to express.
The challenge is recognising when hiding those feelings has become a regular response that prevents us from understanding our own experiences.
The next time you pick up a paintbrush, consider what you want your canvas to communicate.
Perhaps the most interesting part of the picture is what lies beneath the surface.
What would you like to stop painting over?
Share your thoughts in the comments.
EducateAble | Supporting emotional wellbeing through counselling, creative expression and practical learning.
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