There are moments when a child is clearly struggling, yet cannot tell you what is happening.
You ask, “What is wrong?”
They shrug.
“Did something happen at school?”
“I do not know.”
“Are you upset?”
“No.”
Yet their behaviour tells you that something is going on. They may become unusually quiet, lose patience over small things, avoid conversation, or appear frustrated without being able to explain why.
For some children, finding the words for an internal experience can be difficult. Creative expression can offer another route into that experience.
A simple expressive arts activity called “Draw the Problem, Then Change Its Shape” can help children give a visual form to something that feels difficult to explain.
The activity uses drawing to explore externalisation, a process in which an experience can be represented as something separate from the person experiencing it.
What Is Externalisation?
Externalisation involves separating a person from the problem they are experiencing.
Instead of thinking:
“I am anxious.”
A child might begin to describe:
“My worry is getting really big.”
That small shift can create psychological distance.
The feeling or problem becomes something the child can look at, describe and explore rather than something that completely defines them.
Expressive arts can support this process because a child can give an internal experience a visual form. A difficult feeling can become a shape, a scribble, a creature, a storm, a maze or something entirely abstract.
The child does not need to produce a realistic drawing.
The meaning comes from what the child chooses to create and how they describe it.
Art-based approaches are also used to provide children with non-verbal ways of exploring feelings, particularly when direct verbal discussion feels difficult. Children’s Health of Orange County notes that artmaking can help children externalise and transform inner experiences, while Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia highlights creative arts as an outlet for children’s thoughts and feelings during challenging experiences.
The “Draw the Problem” Activity
Age range
This activity can be adapted for children from around 8 years onwards, although the language and level of questioning should be adjusted according to the child’s developmental stage.
You will need
- Paper
- Crayons, coloured pencils or markers
- A comfortable space
- Around 10–15 minutes without interruption
You do not need expensive art materials.
The focus is the child’s process rather than the finished artwork.
Step 1: Begin Without Asking for an Explanation
If your child is struggling to explain something, avoid beginning with a long series of questions.
Instead, offer the paper and say:
“You do not have to explain it to me. Show me what the problem feels like.”
This gives the child permission to communicate through images.
They might draw:
- a tangled scribble
- a huge shape
- a tiny shape
- a monster
- a storm
- a maze
- a dark space
- a completely abstract image
There is no correct answer.
Important: Do not interpret the drawing for them
A red shape does not automatically mean anger.
A black drawing does not automatically mean sadness.
A person drawn without hands does not automatically reveal a particular psychological issue.
The child is the person who can tell you what their image means.
Instead of saying:
“You drew this because you are angry.”
Try:
“Tell me about this part.”
Or:
“What is happening here?”
Open-ended questions allow the child’s own meaning to emerge.
Step 2: Give the Problem a Form
Once the child has finished the initial drawing, invite them to look at it.
Ask:
“If this problem had a name, what would you call it?”
They might call it:
- The Worry
- School Stress
- The Angry Monster
- The Big Blob
- The Homework Beast
- Something completely unrelated to what you expected
Follow their language.
You could also ask:
“Where does it feel strongest?”
“What does it want?”
“When does it usually show up?”
“What makes it bigger?”
These questions can help transform an abstract experience into something the child can talk about.
Step 3: Change the Picture
This is the central part of the activity.
Point towards the drawing and ask:
“If you could change something about this problem, what would you change?”
The child can alter the existing picture.
They might:
- make the shape smaller
- add a door
- create more space around it
- give it somewhere to go
- change its expression
- add another character
- surround it with something protective
- transform it into something completely different
Do not tell the child what the solution should look like.
Let them decide.
The important question is:
“What would make this picture feel more manageable for you?”
Why Change the Drawing?
The transformation gives the child an opportunity to move from simply representing an experience towards imagining a different relationship with it.
The original drawing might represent:
“This is what the problem feels like.”
The second version can explore:
“What could I change about my relationship with this problem?”
That distinction can be useful.
The child may discover that they cannot immediately make the problem disappear, yet they can change something about how they experience it.
For example, a child might draw a huge storm and then add a small shelter.
Another child might draw a giant monster and then give themselves a shield.
Someone else might simply make the original shape smaller.
There is no universal visual meaning.
The child’s explanation is what matters.
What Can This Activity Help With?
This activity can support emotional expression and reflection, particularly when a child finds direct conversation difficult.
It may be useful when a child is experiencing:
School-related stress
A child who repeatedly says, “I hate school,” may find it difficult to explain what part of school feels difficult.
Drawing can provide a starting point for conversation.
Worry
A child can represent worry as a shape or character and explore when it becomes bigger or smaller.
Frustration
A child can visually represent something that feels stuck, overwhelming or impossible.
Social difficulties
The child may choose to represent a friendship problem, exclusion, conflict or uncertainty without needing to construct a detailed verbal explanation immediately.
Emotional confusion
Children do not always have a precise label for what they are feeling.
A drawing allows them to begin with sensations, shapes and images before finding words.
Transitions
Moving schools, changing routines or adjusting to family changes can generate experiences that children struggle to articulate.
Creative expression can provide an additional communication channel.
Research on children’s drawing has explored how drawing can influence mood and emotional regulation, including the possibility that drawing can either provide distraction from distressing thoughts or facilitate emotional expression.
The Psychology Behind the Activity
There are several psychological ideas contained within this simple exercise.
1. Externalisation
The problem is represented outside the child.
The child can begin talking about the problem rather than defining themselves by the problem.
This approach has also been incorporated into expressive arts interventions for children and adolescents, where drawing and comics can help create physical and psychological distance from difficult experiences.
2. Symbolic Expression
Children can communicate through symbols before they have the language to describe a complex emotional experience.
A shape can communicate something that a child cannot yet explain verbally.
The adult’s role is to remain curious rather than deciding what the symbol means.
3. Psychological Distance
Seeing a difficult experience on paper can create some separation between the child and the experience.
The child can look at it.
Move it.
Change it.
Add to it.
Talk about it.
That distance can make exploration feel more manageable.
4. Agency
The second stage introduces an important question:
“What can I change?”
The child makes a choice about the image.
That choice can create an opportunity to explore agency within a difficult situation.
The change may be symbolic rather than a direct solution to the real-life problem. It can still provide useful information about what the child wishes were different.
What Parents Should Avoid
The way an adult responds can influence how safe the activity feels.
Avoid interpreting the artwork
Do not tell the child what their drawing means.
Ask them.
Avoid forcing disclosure
If a child does not want to explain the picture, respect that.
You can say:
“You do not have to talk about it yet. Thank you for showing me.”
Avoid correcting the artwork
There is no need to make the drawing more realistic, colourful or aesthetically pleasing.
Avoid turning it into a test
Do not ask:
“Why did you draw that?”
in a demanding tone.
Instead, use curiosity:
“I would love to hear the story of this picture if you want to tell me.”
Avoid promising that the problem will disappear
The purpose is to explore the experience and the child’s sense of agency.
It is not a magic solution to anxiety, conflict or distress.
What If the Child Says, “I Don’t Know”?
That is completely acceptable.
You can simplify the prompt.
Try:
“If your feeling was a colour, what colour would it be?”
Or:
“If the problem was an animal, what would it be?”
Or simply:
“Can you make a shape that feels like it?”
The child does not have to explain the experience immediately.
The drawing itself can be the starting point.
What If the Child Does Not Want to Draw?
Do not force the activity.
Offer alternatives.
The child could:
- use clay
- make a collage
- create a character
- use stickers
- build something with blocks
- choose images from magazines
- use movement or music instead
Expressive arts work can include many forms of creative expression. Drawing is simply one accessible option.
Try the Activity With Your Child
Here is the complete sequence you can save:
1. Give them paper.
Say:
“Show me what the problem feels like.”
2. Let them draw freely.
Do not correct or interpret.
3. Ask about the picture.
“Tell me about this.”
4. Ask what the problem would be called.
“If it had a name, what would you call it?”
5. Invite a change.
“If you could change something about this problem, what would you change?”
6. Let them transform the drawing.
Allow the child to decide what changes.
7. Ask one final question.
“How does the picture feel now?”
You do not need to turn the activity into a long conversation.
The child may want to talk.
They may want to keep drawing.
They may want to put the picture away.
Follow their lead.
Watch the Short Video
I created a short demonstration of this activity so you can see how the process works visually.
Watch on YouTube:
If you prefer watching rather than reading through the instructions, start with the video and then return to this post when you want to try the activity.
Subscribe to EducateAble on YouTube for more practical expressive arts ideas for children’s emotional wellbeing.
Art Materials You Can Keep at Home
You do not need a dedicated art room for expressive arts activities.
A small box containing basic materials can be enough.
Children’s sketchbook
A dedicated sketchbook gives your child a consistent place for drawing and emotional expression.
Washable crayons
Crayons are particularly useful for younger children because they allow quick marks, pressure changes and large movements.
Coloured pencils
Coloured pencils can be useful when a child wants more control and detail in their drawings.
Washable markers
Markers provide a different sensory and visual experience and can be useful when children want bold lines or larger areas of colour.
Watercolour pencils
For older children, watercolour pencils can introduce an additional way to transform an image through colour and water.
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A Note About Expressive Arts Activities and Therapy
A creative activity can support emotional expression, reflection and connection. It should not be presented as a replacement for professional mental health support when a child is experiencing significant or persistent distress.
Expressive arts therapy involves intentional therapeutic work facilitated by a suitably trained professional. A parent doing a simple drawing activity with their child is engaging in a supportive creative practice, rather than providing formal therapy.
If a child is showing persistent changes in behaviour, significant distress, difficulties functioning at school or home, or signs that raise safeguarding concerns, seek appropriate professional support.
The artwork should also never be treated as a diagnostic test.
A drawing does not provide a diagnosis.
The child’s own words, behaviour, context and broader assessment are important.
Turn the Drawing Into a Conversation
The next time your child says:
“I don’t know.”
You do not have to keep asking the same question.
You can give them another way to communicate.
Put some paper on the table.
Give them permission to draw without worrying about making good art.
Then ask:
“Can you show me what it feels like?”
That small invitation can open a different kind of conversation.
Want More Creative Tools for Children’s Emotional Wellbeing?
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