A child can look calm on the outside while experiencing something completely different internally.
I know this personally.
Looking back at my own childhood through what I understand today as a counselling psychologist and expressive arts therapist, I can recognise experiences that were difficult for me to explain at the time.
There were things I experienced internally that adults could not necessarily see from my behaviour.
That is one reason I find visual expression so useful when working with children and young people.
A child does not always need another conversation where an adult asks, “What is wrong?”
Sometimes, a metaphor can open a different door.
In this article, I am sharing a simple expressive arts activity called “Two Versions of Me”, which parents can try with pre-teens and teenagers who find it difficult to explain what is happening inside.
Important: This activity is a tool for exploration and communication. It cannot diagnose autism, masking, anxiety, or any other condition.
Watch the YouTube Short
I created a short video demonstrating the activity visually.
In the video, I show how the same child can be represented through two different drawings: what other people see and what may be happening internally.
If your child connects more easily with images than direct questioning, this is a simple activity to try together.
When “I’m Fine” Does Not Tell the Whole Story
Imagine asking your teenager:
“How was school?”
“Fine.”
“Did anything happen?”
“No.”
“Are you upset?”
“No.”
The conversation ends.
Yet perhaps the child has spent the day dealing with noise, social uncertainty, changes to their routine, confusing interactions, academic pressure, or the effort of behaving in ways that feel expected of them.
You may only see the child who comes home, puts their bag down and says they are fine.
Their internal experience may be considerably more complicated.
This does not automatically mean the child is autistic. The same outward behaviour can have many possible explanations.
The important question is:
What might we be missing when we only observe behaviour?
The “Two Versions of Me” Expressive Arts Activity
This activity is designed for pre-teens and teenagers, roughly from ages 10–16.
You only need:
- Two sheets of paper
- Pencils, crayons or coloured pens
- A quiet space
No artistic ability is required.
In fact, I would actively tell the child:
“There is no right way to draw this.”
The purpose is communication, rather than producing a beautiful picture.
Step 1: Draw “What People See”
Give your child the first piece of paper.
Ask:
“Draw what people usually see when they look at you.”
They could draw a face, a person, a symbol, a character or something completely abstract.
Do not correct the drawing.
Do not ask why they chose a particular colour.
Give them space.
The child might draw someone smiling.
They might draw themselves sitting quietly.
They might draw a school uniform.
They might draw something completely unexpected.
There is no required answer.
Step 2: Draw “What Is Happening Inside”
Now give them the second sheet.
Ask:
“Now draw what is happening inside you that other people might not see.”
This could look completely different.
Perhaps there are tangled lines.
Perhaps there are loud colours.
Perhaps there are lots of words.
Perhaps there is a tiny figure surrounded by large shapes.
Perhaps there is almost nothing on the page.
Let the child decide.
The contrast itself is what makes this activity interesting.
Step 3: Put the Two Drawings Together
Place the drawings next to each other.
Then say:
“Imagine these are two windows looking into the same person.”
Point to the first drawing.
“This is the window other people might see.”
Then point to the second.
“And this is another part of the experience that may be harder for them to see.”
You do not need to turn this into a lecture.
You are creating a metaphor the child can explore.
Step 4: Ask One Gentle Question
Instead of asking a long series of questions, try:
“What makes the inside picture look like this?”
Then wait.
If they want to talk, listen.
If they want to add more drawings, let them.
If they do not want to explain it, respect that too.
The artwork itself can become the starting point for a later conversation.
Why Use Drawing Instead of Another Conversation?
Direct verbal communication can be difficult when a child is trying to describe an experience that is complex, overwhelming or difficult to identify.
Drawing creates some psychological distance.
Instead of having to say:
“I feel overwhelmed when there are too many people around me.”
a young person might draw a crowded room with lots of overlapping lines.
Instead of saying:
“I spend a lot of energy trying to behave like everyone else.”
they might draw two versions of themselves.
The drawing gives the child something concrete to point towards.
Research into drawing-based interventions with autistic students has explored how visual and tactile art-making can support emotional expression and self-representation. A 2025 mixed-method study involving autistic students aged 6–19 found improvements in measures of self-concept, social functioning and quality of life following a structured drawing intervention, although the researchers also noted the need for further longitudinal research.
A recent systematic review of randomised controlled trials also discusses art therapy as a potentially useful medium for emotional expression among children and adolescents with autism, while highlighting the need to interpret the evidence carefully.
So the useful principle here is fairly simple:
Give the child another medium through which to communicate.
What Does This Have to Do With Autism?
Quite a lot of autistic people describe experiences where their external presentation does not fully communicate their internal experience.
This can become particularly relevant when discussing masking, sometimes also called camouflaging.
Masking can involve consciously or unconsciously modifying behaviour to fit perceived social expectations.
For example, a young person may:
- copy how peers behave
- rehearse conversations
- suppress movements or behaviours that feel regulating
- monitor their facial expressions
- hide confusion during social interactions
- imitate social responses they have observed in others
However, these behaviours are not exclusive to autistic people.
A child who appears socially comfortable may be experiencing anxiety, exhaustion, sensory overload, perfectionism or another difficulty.
That is why I would avoid using this activity as a way of deciding whether a child is autistic.
Instead, use it to become curious about their experience.
The Difference Between Behaviour and Experience
This is the part I would especially like parents to take away from the activity.
Consider a child who sits quietly in class.
An adult might describe them as:
“Very well behaved.”
Another child might appear restless.
An adult might describe them as:
“Distracting the class.”
Those descriptions tell us something about the observable behaviour.
They do not necessarily tell us what produced it.
The quiet child could be concentrating intensely while managing sensory input.
The restless child could be struggling with sensory needs, boredom, anxiety, attention regulation or something else entirely.
The behaviour is the visible layer.
The experience underneath requires curiosity.
Why the Two-Window Metaphor Can Be Useful
The metaphor gives children permission to acknowledge that different parts of their experience can coexist.
A teenager can be happy to see friends and still find social interaction exhausting.
A child can enjoy school and still find the classroom environment overwhelming.
A young person can appear confident and still spend considerable effort figuring out what is expected of them.
Human experience does not always fit neatly into a single emotional label.
The drawing allows some of that complexity to exist on the page.
What If Your Child Draws Something Concerning?
This is where the adult’s response matters.
If the drawing contains something worrying, try not to immediately interrogate the child.
Instead of:
“Why did you draw that?”
try:
“Tell me about this part, if you want to.”
Or:
“Would you like me to understand this drawing?”
Then listen.
You do not need to interpret every symbol.
A red colour does not automatically mean anger.
A dark drawing does not automatically indicate depression.
A particular shape does not have a universal psychological meaning.
Ask the child what their drawing means to them.
Their interpretation is more relevant than an adult assigning a meaning to the image.
What If They Refuse to Draw?
That is completely fine.
Do not turn the activity into another demand.
You can modify it.
Try asking them to:
- choose two emojis
- select two photographs
- create two playlists
- use stickers
- choose colours
- make a collage
- draw abstract shapes
The underlying idea remains the same:
What do people see, and what might they miss?
A Variation for a Teenager Who Likes Writing
Some teenagers may find drawing childish.
Keep the metaphor and change the medium.
Give them two pages:
Page 1
What people think my day looks like
Page 2
What my day actually feels like
They can fill the pages with:
- words
- song lyrics they have permission to quote or paraphrase
- symbols
- doodles
- colours
- diagrams
- short sentences
The activity can become a private visual journal rather than something they have to show you.
A Variation for a Child Who Loves Metaphors
You can turn the activity into a character exercise.
Say:
“Imagine there are two characters who are actually the same person.”
Character A: What everyone sees.
Character B: What is happening inside.
Then ask:
“What does Character B wish Character A could tell people?”
This can create enough emotional distance for a young person to explore difficult experiences without having to immediately say, “This is me.”
What Parents Should Avoid
Do not analyse the drawing for the child
Avoid deciding what every colour, shape or symbol represents.
Do not turn the activity into a diagnostic test
This activity cannot tell you whether your child is autistic.
Do not force disclosure
A child may create something meaningful and still not want to explain it.
Do not compare their drawing with another child’s
There is no correct version.
Do not praise only the artwork
You can acknowledge the communication:
“Thank you for showing me this.”
That can be more meaningful than:
“What a beautiful drawing.”
Materials You Can Keep at Home
You do not need expensive materials for this activity. A basic sketchbook and coloured pencils are enough.
If you would like to create a small emotional-expression corner at home, you could consider adding an emotions card set or a journal alongside ordinary drawing materials.
For this particular activity, I would prioritise blank paper or an unstructured sketchbook over a workbook with prescribed answers. The open-ended nature is part of what makes the exercise useful.
When This Activity May Be Particularly Useful
Consider trying it when a child:
- repeatedly says “I am fine” but appears exhausted
- finds it difficult to describe their school day
- struggles to identify what is overwhelming them
- communicates more comfortably through drawing or metaphor
- says that adults do not understand them
- finds direct emotional conversations uncomfortable
These signs do not establish a diagnosis. They simply indicate that a different route into communication may be helpful.
If You Recognise Your Own Childhood in This
This activity can also be meaningful for adults reflecting on their childhood.
Looking back, you may recognise moments when adults interpreted your behaviour without knowing what you were experiencing internally.
For me, thinking about childhood through what I understand today has changed how I think about children’s behaviour.
A child who appears quiet may have a lot happening internally.
A child who appears distracted may be managing something we cannot see.
A child who appears to be coping may be putting considerable effort into coping.
That does not give us a single explanation for every behaviour.
It gives us a reason to ask better questions.
Try the Activity With Your Child
If you have a pre-teen or teenager who finds emotional conversations difficult, try the Two Versions of Me experiment.
Keep it light.
Put some paper on the table.
Draw alongside them.
Let the activity become a shared experience rather than an interview.
And if they do not want to talk about their drawing immediately, leave the door open.
They may return to it later.
Watch the Activity on YouTube
I demonstrate the Two Versions of Me activity in this EducateAble YouTube Short:
👉 Watch the YouTube Short: My Undiagnosed Autism as a Child | Two Versions of Me
If visual demonstrations are easier for you to follow, watch the Short first and then try the activity at home.
Explore More From EducateAble
At EducateAble, I share practical resources based around child counselling, expressive arts therapy, neurodiversity and inclusive support.
If you are looking for more ways to help a child communicate difficult experiences, explore the other activities on the EducateAble blog and YouTube channel.
You can also explore my 1:1 Counselling & Emotional Wellness sessions, where expressive arts can be incorporated into a supportive therapeutic setting.
👉 Book a Counselling & Emotional Wellness Session
For parents and professionals supporting neurodivergent children, I also offer Shadow Teacher Toolkit & Mentoring sessions.
👉 Explore Shadow Teacher Mentoring
A Final Thought
A child’s behaviour is something we can observe.
Their internal experience is something we need to make space to understand.
A piece of paper cannot tell us everything about a child.
It can, however, give them another way to begin showing us what words may not yet be able to express.
Give them the paper. Draw beside them. Stay curious about what they show you.
This article is educational and does not replace an individual assessment or professional mental health support. An expressive arts activity should not be used to diagnose autism or interpret a child’s artwork as evidence of a particular condition.
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