When Feelings Become Too Big for Words
Your pre-teen has returned from school after a difficult day. You ask what happened, but the response is a shrug. You try asking another question, and the frustration becomes more visible. Within minutes, a minor disagreement can turn into tears, silence or an angry outburst.
You want to help, yet finding the right words feels difficult.
Children can struggle to explain their internal experiences when they are distressed. They may recognise that something feels wrong without knowing whether the feeling is disappointment, embarrassment, anxiety or frustration.
During these moments, a creative approach can offer another route to communication.
Drawing gives children a way to explore their experiences without having to find the perfect words. With a calm, supportive adult nearby, this simple activity can also create an opportunity to practise emotional awareness and co-regulation.
In this article, we will explore an expressive arts activity called The Storm Inside My Head, inspired by ideas associated with Applied Educational Neuroscience and the work of Dr Lori Desautels at Butler University.
You will learn how to facilitate the activity at home, why it may help and how to adapt it to your child’s needs.
What Is the Connection Between Expressive Arts and Emotional Regulation?
Emotional regulation refers to the processes involved in recognising, managing and responding to emotional experiences. Children gradually develop these abilities through experience, supportive relationships and opportunities to practise different coping strategies.
When children experience intense emotions, verbal communication can become difficult. Asking them to explain everything immediately may add to the demands they are already experiencing.
Expressive arts offer an alternative means of engagement.
A child can choose colours, create shapes, draw imaginary scenes or move a crayon freely across paper. The creative process allows them to participate without needing to produce a polished picture or explain every detail.
Research has explored the relationship between drawing and children’s emotional states. A study by Drake and Winner, published in Cognition and Emotion, found that drawing freely to distract oneself from negative feelings improved children’s mood more effectively than drawing specifically to vent those feelings or copying another person’s drawing.
Read the research on drawing and children’s emotional regulation.
This finding offers a useful consideration for parents: creative activities can give children an engaging focus, while leaving room for emotional expression. A child should be free to decide what to draw rather than being required to depict distressing experiences.
Drawing does not guarantee that a child will feel calmer. Its usefulness depends on the child’s preferences, the situation and how the activity is introduced.
Understanding the Applied Educational Neuroscience Connection
Dr Lori Desautels’ work in Applied Educational Neuroscience explores how nervous system states, relationships and adult responses influence children’s experiences of learning and regulation.
Her framework includes attention to the adult nervous system, co-regulation, sensory experiences and the language used to understand the nervous system.
These ideas offer a useful foundation for parents and educators who want to support children during emotionally demanding moments.
1. Understanding the child’s state
When a child is overwhelmed, they may shout, withdraw, become restless or struggle to respond to questions. These behaviours can indicate distress or heightened arousal, although the meaning depends on the individual child and context.
A supportive adult can observe what is happening before deciding how to respond.
Instead of immediately correcting the behaviour, consider whether the child needs less verbal input, more physical space or a familiar activity that feels manageable.
2. The adult’s role in co-regulation
Co-regulation describes the supportive process through which an adult helps a child manage their emotional state.
Children receive information from an adult’s tone of voice, facial expression, posture and responsiveness. A measured voice and respectful presence can help communicate safety during a difficult moment.
Co-regulation does not require a parent to remain perfectly calm at all times. It involves noticing their own reactions and making a deliberate effort to respond in a supportive way.
3. Developing the language of sensation
Children can learn to notice bodily sensations alongside emotional experiences.
For example, a child might describe a tight stomach, hot cheeks, clenched hands or a racing heart. These observations can help them begin recognising how stress or excitement feels in their own body.
The child can use drawing to represent these sensations through colour, shape or movement.
For more information, explore Dr Lori Desautels’ work on Applied Educational Neuroscience.
The activity below draws on these broad principles. It is an original home-based adaptation and should not be presented as a specific intervention developed or endorsed by Dr Desautels or Butler University.
The Storm Inside My Head: A Drawing Activity for Emotional Regulation
Suitable for: Children aged 9–12, with adaptations for younger children and teenagers.
Time required: Approximately 10–15 minutes, depending on the child’s interest and readiness.
Setting: A familiar, comfortable space at home, in a counselling room or in an educational setting.
Purpose: To offer children a creative way to explore emotional states and identify supportive responses.
Materials required
- Two sheets of drawing paper
- Crayons, coloured pencils or washable markers
- A comfortable surface for drawing
You do not need expensive art supplies. Ordinary stationery is sufficient.
Step 1: Introduce the idea of an emotional storm
Begin by creating a relaxed environment. Sit beside your child rather than positioning yourself as someone who is evaluating their work.
You might say:
“Our minds can feel a little like the weather. Some days feel sunny, and other days feel stormy. Would you like to draw what your mind’s weather might look like when things feel overwhelming?”
Give your child time to consider the invitation.
They can draw clouds, waves, scribbles, lightning, abstract patterns or anything else that represents their experience. They can also choose to draw something unrelated if that feels more comfortable.
Avoid assigning meanings to particular colours or shapes. A red drawing does not automatically indicate anger, and dark colours do not establish that a child is experiencing sadness.
Allow the child to explain their own artwork if they wish.
Step 2: Let the child draw freely
Place the materials within reach and allow the child to decide where to begin.
You might notice rapid movements, repeated lines or a preference for a particular colour. Observe without assuming what these choices mean.
Resist the urge to correct the drawing or suggest how it should look.
If the child asks what they should draw, respond with a gentle prompt:
“You can use any colours or shapes you like. There is no right or wrong way to make this picture.”
The freedom to choose gives the child some control over the experience.
If the child becomes uncomfortable while drawing, pause and offer a different option. They could draw an imaginary landscape, colour a simple pattern or stop altogether.
Step 3: Explore what helps the storm settle
When the child has finished, offer a second sheet of paper.
Say:
“Now, if you would like to, draw something that could help this storm settle. It could be a place, a person, an activity or anything that helps you feel supported.”
The child might draw a favourite reading corner, a pet, a quiet beach, a trusted adult or a colourful path through the clouds.
Another child may prefer drawing waves that become smaller or clouds that gradually move away.
Let the child decide what the second image represents.
This part of the activity introduces the idea that emotional states can change and that children can identify experiences or supports that help them cope.
Step 4: Invite reflection without interrogation
After the drawings are complete, offer the child an opportunity to talk.
Choose a question that feels appropriate to the moment:
- What would you like me to understand about your picture?
- What helps when your mind feels stormy?
- Would you prefer company, some space or help with a problem when you feel overwhelmed?
Ask one question and give the child time to respond.
Silence is acceptable. Children may communicate through gestures, short answers or further drawing rather than a detailed explanation.
Avoid treating the picture as evidence of a hidden problem. The child’s own account and the wider context matter more than an adult’s interpretation of the artwork.
Step 5: Create a shared drawing
If the child is comfortable, draw your own emotional storm on another sheet of paper.
You might explain that a busy day can leave you feeling tense or that unexpected changes can be frustrating.
Then draw something that helps you recover, such as listening to music or spending time in a quiet space.
Keep your example appropriate to the child’s age. The intention is to model reflection and help-seeking without expecting the child to take care of your emotions.
You could finish by asking:
“When your storm arrives again, how would you like me to support you?”
This question gives the child a voice in deciding what support feels helpful.
Why This Activity May Help Children
The Storm Inside My Head activity brings together creative engagement, emotional awareness and relational support.
It offers another way to communicate
Children may find it easier to begin with an image than with a detailed verbal explanation. Drawing can provide an accessible starting point for a conversation, particularly when a child has difficulty identifying or describing feelings.
The child remains free to choose whether to discuss the artwork.
It encourages emotional awareness
The activity invites children to recognise that their internal experiences can change.
By representing a storm and then imagining what helps it settle, children can begin identifying their own emotional cues and preferred coping strategies.
It supports a sense of agency
The child decides what to draw, which materials to use and whether to discuss the result.
Having these choices can make the experience feel more manageable. Parents can extend this sense of agency by asking what kind of support the child prefers.
It creates an opportunity for co-regulation
A parent who sits beside a child, offers choices and avoids pressuring them to talk can provide a supportive relational experience.
The shared drawing creates time for connection without demanding immediate verbal disclosure.
It can help families identify useful coping strategies
The second drawing may reveal activities or environments the child finds comforting.
Parents can use this information to develop a personalised collection of supportive options, provided the child agrees. These might include listening to music, taking a short walk, using a familiar sensory item or spending quiet time with a trusted person.
Drawing can complement these strategies, although it will not suit every child or every situation.
What Parents Should Avoid During the Activity
The way an adult introduces the activity can influence whether the child experiences it as supportive.
Avoid insisting that the child draw their feelings. An invitation gives the child room to choose. A demand can create additional pressure.
Avoid interpreting the artwork for them. Ask what a shape, colour or image means to the child rather than deciding on its meaning yourself.
Avoid using the activity as a route to immediate disclosure. A child may need time before they feel ready to discuss a difficult experience.
Avoid presenting calmness as a requirement. The child does not need to finish the activity with a happy picture or a visibly changed mood.
Avoid using the drawing as a disciplinary tool. The artwork should not become a way to judge whether the child has behaved appropriately or learnt a lesson.
If a child becomes increasingly distressed, stop the activity and focus on immediate support. If intense distress, persistent anxiety or difficulties with daily functioning continue, consider seeking guidance from an appropriately qualified mental health professional.
Adapting the Activity for Neurodivergent Children
Children differ in their sensory preferences, communication styles and responses to creative tasks. A flexible approach can make the activity more accessible.
For children with ADHD
Keep the materials easy to access and the instructions brief. Allow movement during drawing and offer a choice between drawing for a few minutes or returning to the activity later.
Some children may prefer a large sheet of paper and thick markers. Others may engage more comfortably with small cards or a limited selection of colours.
For autistic children
Offer concrete choices and explain what will happen before beginning. For example, show the two sheets of paper and describe the purpose of each one.
Some autistic children may prefer visual symbols, repeated patterns or a predictable sequence. Others may not enjoy drawing or may communicate more effectively through writing, typing or selecting pictures.
Respect the child’s preferred communication method.
For children with sensory sensitivities
Offer a choice of materials. Some children dislike the texture of crayons, the smell of markers or the sound made by certain drawing tools.
Pencils, digital drawing tools or pre-printed shapes may provide suitable alternatives.
For children who find emotional language difficult
Use simple visual choices, such as a weather chart, to help the child identify how they feel.
You could offer words such as settled, busy, worried or overwhelmed, while allowing the child to choose a different description.
The child does not need to name an emotion before taking part.
Turning the Drawing into a Practical Support Plan
The activity can become a useful starting point for conversations about what helps the child during difficult moments.
With the child’s permission, create a small My Storm Support Plan card.
Include:
How I notice my storm: The sensations or changes the child recognises, such as tense shoulders or wanting to withdraw.
What helps me: The activities or environmental changes the child has identified as supportive.
How adults can help: Whether the child prefers quiet company, practical assistance or some space before talking.
What I can say: A simple phrase such as, “I need a break,” or “Please sit with me.”
Keep the plan accessible and revisit it when the child is settled. Strategies may need to change as the child grows or their circumstances change.
The plan should remain flexible. A strategy that helps after school may not be appropriate during a busy classroom lesson.
Recommended Art Materials for This Activity
You can use materials you already have at home. If you would like to create a small expressive arts kit, consider the following Amazon product categories.
The links below are placeholders for your Amazon affiliate links. Add the specific products you have selected before publishing.
1. Washable crayons
Useful for children who enjoy making broad marks, layering colours or working without the pressure of creating detailed pictures.
2. Coloured pencils
A suitable option for children who prefer greater control over lines, shading and smaller details.
3. Mixed-media drawing paper
Thicker paper can accommodate different drawing materials and may be useful for keeping the two storm drawings together.
Shop mixed-media paper
4. Washable markers
Markers provide strong colours and clear lines. Choose an age-appropriate set with low-odour materials if your child is sensitive to smells.
5. Children’s emotion cards
Visual emotion cards can help children who prefer selecting an image or word before drawing.
Explore children’s emotion cards
Affiliate disclosure: This article contains affiliate links. If you purchase through these links, EducateAble may earn a commission at no additional cost to you.
Watch the Expressive Arts Activity on YouTube
Would you like to see how this activity can be introduced in a simple, accessible way?
Watch the EducateAble YouTube Short, where we demonstrate how to invite a child to draw their emotional storm and explore what might help it settle.
Watch the YouTube Short: How to Help an Overwhelmed Child Through Drawing
Save the video for a time when you would like to try the activity with your child.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is drawing an effective emotional regulation activity for children?
Drawing can support emotional engagement and may help some children manage their mood. Research suggests that the nature of the drawing task matters, and results vary according to the child and context. Drawing should form part of a broader range of coping options.
Is this activity suitable for teenagers?
Yes. Teenagers may prefer abstract art, symbols, comic-style illustrations or digital drawing. Offer age-appropriate choices and avoid presenting the activity in a way that feels childish.
Does my child need to be good at drawing?
No artistic skill is required. Scribbles, shapes and abstract marks are acceptable. The child decides what to create.
Can I use this activity during a meltdown?
If a child is highly distressed, prioritise immediate safety and reduce demands. They may be unable to engage with drawing at that point. Offer the activity later, when they are ready and interested.
Is this the same as formal art therapy?
No. This is a home-based expressive drawing activity that parents and educators can offer as a supportive practice. Formal art therapy involves a therapeutic relationship and a qualified practitioner who adapts the work to the person’s needs.
How often should we repeat the activity?
There is no fixed schedule. Offer it when the child is receptive, or practise it during calmer periods so they become familiar with the process. Follow the child’s preferences and avoid turning it into a compulsory routine.
Final Thoughts: Give Children Space to Find Their Own Words
When children feel overwhelmed, a conversation may be difficult to begin. An invitation to draw can offer a different starting point.
The Storm Inside My Head activity gives children an opportunity to represent their experiences, consider what helps them cope and communicate their preferences to a trusted adult.
For parents, the activity offers a practical way to practise responsive support and learn more about what their child finds helpful. Its value lies in the opportunity for connection and exploration, with no requirement for the child to explain everything or produce a particular result.
Try This at Home
Set aside a little time, gather some paper and drawing materials, and invite your child to create their own version of an emotional storm.
Follow their lead and allow them to decide what they wish to share.
Would you like more practical resources for supporting children’s emotional development?
Explore the EducateAble website for parent-friendly resources on emotional regulation, inclusive education and neurodiversity.
Subscribe to the EducateAble YouTube channel for more accessible expressive arts ideas that families can explore at home.
If your child needs more individualised support with persistent emotional difficulties, consider arranging a consultation with an appropriately qualified child mental health professional.
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